Seriously...I'm Kidding

Oh, hi. I'm so glad you decided to turn the package over. As you probably know, this is normally where authors put nice quotes from fancy people praising their audiobook. I'm a little uncomfortable with that. It feels like a gimmick to get people to buy it and I don't believe in cheap tricks like that. Besides, I know you're way too smart and beautiful to fall for that kind of stuff. Actually, I think you're so wonderful I thought I would use this space to praise you. Yes, that's right. You. Here are some of the nice things I have to say about you: "That is a beautiful blouse you're wearing. It goes so nicely with this audiobook."-Ellen DeGeneres. "I love the way you're holding this audiobook. It's like you were born to buy it and hold it forever."-Ellen DeGeneres. "[GASP!]"-Ellen DeGeneres, upon noticing your beauty for the first time. "You know what I love most about you? That we get each other. And also your eyes."-Ellen DeGeneres. "You're my favorite listener. Ever, of all time. Shhh…don't tell the other listeners."-Ellen DeGeneres.